


Why?

by actualfox (kien)



Category: Dangan Ronpa, The Muppets - All Media Types
Genre: Five Nights at Freddy's - Freeform, M/M, Other, five nights at freddy's au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-16 01:12:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2250303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kien/pseuds/actualfox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>makoto naegi x kermit the frog FNAF au. death mentions, relationship, nsfw, a lot of crack and even more regret</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why?

Makoto ‘Tuff Man M-dawg69’ Naegi was a hardcore leet tough dude who didn’t back down from anything. He could not be described as ‘eggy’ in any way. He was a survivor among the elite who needed no motivation other than the joy of being ‘pwnage personified’. He was the next king of the world, he was the next Bear Grylls, he was the next Macklemore.

Or at least, that was what everyone would be saying after he completed his next job. _Sure_ , Freddy Monobear’s Despaizzeria looked like a dangerous place. It was ramshackle old place in terrible condition and drab colours outside. It hadn’t been taken care of in years and it looked even worse than his own bathroom. The pizzeria had even been in the news as behind many deaths, including that of Pingu T. Penguin! “Noot noot,” had read the obituary.

But there were two outweighing reasons Naegi was going into that 2spoopy place. First of all, the ancient Greek proverb loosely translated to ‘do it for the vine’. And second of all... he had a massive crush on one of the animatronics there. Yes, that was right. He had loved Kermit the Frog ever since he was a young boy coming here with his parents. Other animatronics at the Freddy Monobear’s Despaizzeria had come and gone, probably eloping with other animatronic-lovers, but his Kermit-senpai was still there. It must be destiny. And he would do anything for this.

So there he was, working the night shift, in the night shift room. He listened to the Irrelevant Exposition Phone Guy’s message, advising him to lock the doors if any animatronics were coming. Bla, bla, bla, he didn’t need any of that. All Naegi needed was to wait for his future lover to come for him and it would be love at first sight.

Time passed for him, including a lot of camera-checking to see how far away Kermit was and closing the goddamn door on the other ones to protect himself. But then, the hot green frog animatronic approached the security room door, playing a jolly tune on his banjo. Naegi’s heart raced at the speed of nyoom as he waited for what Kermit-kun would decide to do. But there seemed to be something human in Kermit’s eyes. Something that made him different from all the other animatronics. Was it… love?

“Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here!” the frog said, repeating his famous quote that made him endearing to children everywhere. He got even closer to Naegi, placing one cold metal hand on the human man’s cheek. His voice dropped to a lusty whisper, unusual and likely not originally programmed in the animatronic’s AI. “And I’m here to serenade _you _, my lovely security guard.”__

__Kermit’s robotic, glitchy voice aroused Naegi even more. Kermit backed away and picked up his banjo again, playing a different tune from before. It was one Naegi recognised as ‘Bring me to Life’ by Evanescence, one of his favourite ever sons._ _

__“ _How can you see into my eyes Like open doors?_ ” Kermit sung, beginning the melancholy emotional song. When it came to parts that needed back up vocals, Naegi joined in. It was a duet of true love._ _

__Soon enough, it was time for the rap part. Naegi secretly practiced the rap part on Singstar every day. It was his favourite part of the song. He loved rapping._ _

__And he hit all the right rhythms. Kermit gasped._ _

__“Oh gosh Naegi-kun… you have such a nice voice! I would love to hear in the bedroom…”_ _

__“You’ve got that wrong, Kermit-kun! There are no bedrooms here, and you can’t leave this place,” Negi retorted._ _

__“WHAT I’M SAYING IS,” Kermit nearly shouted, loud enough for any other animatronics in the area to hear. “I WANT TO FUCK YOU WITH MY HARD ROBOT FROG DICK SO HARD THAT YOU SCREAM.”_ _

__“Well…” Naegi smiled and winked in a very ;3-like way. “You’ve got that _dong_.”_ _

__After Naegi gave this consent, they started the sensual foreplay, and later that night Kermit could be found fucking Naegi on the security room desk and Naegi sticking his fist up Kermit’s ass in the true Muppet-animatronic way._ _

__Naegi would definitely be coming back the next night, and the night after that, for Five Nights With Kermit._ _

**Author's Note:**

> posting for mel, @rhyme on turtleseed, @goumatsuokas on tumblr and @wolvesbite on twitter, who regrets this a lot.


End file.
